Going to my sisters graduation that is outside in the texas heat for 2 hours.
It’s 95 outside jesus
One of the ladies that works at the dining hall saw that I never wore gloves even when it was cold outside.
So today when I went in to eat, she gave me a pair of Perry the platypus gloves
this is Perry the Platypus if you didn’t know

From Phineas and Ferb
An easy way to touch my heart is not by having a 3 and a half foot dick
but with pineapples.
I fucking love pineapples.
This is my History of Homosexuality book.
This is obviously fiction since everyone knows gays arent real.